Confusedman500

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  1. That's been part of my problem too. My wife rarely agrees to any sort of intimacy. I have tried talking about it numerous times, but she doesn't think it's a problem so she always just brushes me aside. I've suggested counseling but she just laughs that idea off. I have made efforts to make our marriage last and I feel like they have made a difference. I call her at least once or twice during the day to check in on her. I clean around the house. I cook dinner at least once a week. I'm always on the lookout for little things I can get her as a surprise. We go on a date weekly. All of this is great, but I do feel like I am starving for intimacy most of the time. It's something I've been learning to deal with because of the commitments of marriage, but when something like this with my friend came along so suddenly I didn't have a plan of action I could turn to and I was lost. Thanks for all the thoughts and ideas - it has been nice to have someone other than myself work on this problem!
  2. Thanks for the feedback. The sentiments stated here reflect the way I was leaning and getting it out and seeing it in print has solidified that. I do have a follow-up question. Should I talk to my friend and tell her that we need to distance ourselves? I'm afraid that if I just didn't contact her for a while she would probably call or text me at some point to check in and my resolve either would be caught off guard or break down. If talking to her isn't a good idea, how would you suggest I make sure this doesn't go any further? Thanks in advance for your help.
  3. When I was a kid, my dad passed away. I had one friend who was there with me the whole time and helped me get through it. She was my best friend and we did a lot together though never officially dated. As we got older, I felt attraction to her beyond friendship. She never seemed interested enough in me though so I didn't pursue it. We both got married to our spouses within a week of each other and the four of us have kept in contact getting together a few times per year. My feelings for her never quite went away, but since she didn't seem to have them for me it was never an issue or question. Over the last year or so, I've had a suspicion that she has either developed feelings for me or she has now just let them show. It was confirmed tonight when we were leaving their place. We have always given each other a quick hug when leaving, but tonight she hung on a bit longer - long enough for it to mean something. As we let go I could see it in her expression that she didn't want to let me go but that we both knew for the sake of our spouses in that moment we had to. Should I talk to her about this? Should I talk to my wife about it? This friend means the world to me because of what she helped get me through and because she helped me become the person I am today. If this was anyone else, I would cut ties and move on right now, but I just can't do that with her. She knows me too well and unless I told her straight up what is going on she would see through any excuses I can think of for not seeing them again. Any suggestions would be helpful!