When I was a kid, my dad passed away. I had one friend who was there with me the whole time and helped me get through it. She was my best friend and we did a lot together though never officially dated. As we got older, I felt attraction to her beyond friendship. She never seemed interested enough in me though so I didn't pursue it.
We both got married to our spouses within a week of each other and the four of us have kept in contact getting together a few times per year. My feelings for her never quite went away, but since she didn't seem to have them for me it was never an issue or question. Over the last year or so, I've had a suspicion that she has either developed feelings for me or she has now just let them show. It was confirmed tonight when we were leaving their place. We have always given each other a quick hug when leaving, but tonight she hung on a bit longer - long enough for it to mean something. As we let go I could see it in her expression that she didn't want to let me go but that we both knew for the sake of our spouses in that moment we had to.
Should I talk to her about this? Should I talk to my wife about it? This friend means the world to me because of what she helped get me through and because she helped me become the person I am today. If this was anyone else, I would cut ties and move on right now, but I just can't do that with her. She knows me too well and unless I told her straight up what is going on she would see through any excuses I can think of for not seeing them again. Any suggestions would be helpful!