bethreilley

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About bethreilley

  • Birthday 08/14/1997

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Idaho
  • Interests
    writing
  • Religion
    LDS

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  1. To further clarify: The first time I sat down with my bishop about this, he did advise me not to make an appointment with him until he had had a chance to talk to him first and the Stake President said to him these words exactly, "I will not have her in my office until her 19th birthday". After my most recent sit down with him, he told me as well as my other friend who is pursuing her endowments as a 24 year old, to wait for a phone call. After not receiving a phone call I talked with my bishop again and later that day he had a meeting with the SP and told me he'd be vouching for me and pleading my case. The bishop HAS told me before that my odds with this SP of getting my TR would be very small. But he would not have fought for it if he didn't believe that I was ready.
  2. I mean this all with the most respect possible. I have had very strong promptings since I was 18 that I needed to be going to the temple and receive my endowments. My bishop was brought to tears, having felt the confirming feeling of the spirit. He knows that I would not have made this request to go if I had not indeed been prompted to. When I was 18, the stake president said he wouldn't even talk to me until my 19th birthday. After turning 19, I'd become a little gun shy about the whole thing, and even shoved it aside from my mind, figuring I had just misinterpreted inspiration and feeling the heat of embarrassment. It wasn't until after conference that I had decided to pray about it again. I was overwhelmed by the love behind the confirmation. My bishopric, the lot of them, all feel quite strongly that I need to be there, and they are cheering me on. The stake president has yet to call me or accept an appointment though. My question has multiple parts; The first, if I truly hadn't been ready to enter the temple, the bishop would have suggested I wait or work on something first. But he didn't. He knows that now is my time, and he has had many meetings pleading for my sake with the SP. Shouldn't the bishop's call hold some weight with the SP? Second, shouldn't he at LEAST allow me the opportunity to be interviewed? He has never met me, never spoken a word to me. At this point, he isn't denying me based on readiness or worthiness, but my age exclusively. I understand fully that the temple is a very sacred place, where sacred and very serious covenants are entered. I would never want to rush it or jump in before I was ready. And I have prayed and fasted and agonized over this prompting, time and time again. I have dug my heels into the ground, reasoning why I shouldn't go there and explaining to myself how I must be mistaken. But the answer is clear. I know it, the bishop knows it, my close friends can see it, and most importantly, Heavenly Father knows that now I am ready. Does anyone have any advice on this at all, similar experiences, words of comfort?
  3. I've been struggling with depression for as long as I can remember. To put things in perspective, my first suicide attempt was at the young age of 9 years old. It's been bad. For a little while, I thought I'd been relieved. I felt rejuvenated and like things were looking up. I had plans to serve a mission, get my degree, and maybe even one day get married! But then I got news that I had heart palpitations, and that I couldn't serve a mission. I got pretty depressed from that, and from there flunked my college classes. Now I have no future, no direction, and no motivation. I'd love to have a boyfriend, but that seems like a far, far, faaaar away reward, if it even happens at all. On top of all of this, my faith in God has become shaky, to say the least. I'm not confident in his existence sometimes, and no matter how much I've prayed, I haven't been able to find any peace or relief from the chaos and turbulence of whatever it is I'm going through. I have begged and pleaded for relief or direction or an answer or confidence or just the knowledge that everything would be okay. I have yet to receive any of these things. I've searched my scriptures for hope and strength and only grew more ashamed of myself and hurt and hopeless and overwhelmed. Somewhere deep down in my heart I think I have a testimony. I mean, I want to. I want to believe. So badly I want to get back on track and just know that I am doing what God wants me to do and get into that confident faithful spot that so many other members seem to have reached. I just want to be okay and I don't know that I ever will be. Please, has anyone else been here? Does anyone know what I'm going through? Do you have advice or wisdom to impart? Can you help me?