I need some advice, I am in a second marriage, where we both have children from previous marriages. My two small children ages 7 and 10 and my husbands three teenagers 16, 18 & 19 live in our home. The children are great and they all get along. My husband is 20 years older than me and over the years he has built a successful business and has lived within his means. I have a good paying job and have been able to support my self and my two children with out the help of their father or government assistance, however my income is significantly less than my husband. Prior to getting married my husband suggested I pay only for groceries and pay off any previous debt. We had both agreed with this, months later in a heated argument, my husband decieded he would change it to where we both contribute half. I didn't like the idea, but to please him, I went along. As we entered into the marriage, I realized I made a big mistake, not only was I contributing more than half my income, but I was also reasponsible for all the "womenly duties" cooking, cleaning, going to the market on my own, etc...I started to feel resentment towards my husband, feeling like I was carring more or the same as when I was a single mom, while my husband works 1-2 days a week and stays home. We have discussed finances on several occasions and I have expressed to him the burden this causes me but even bigger than that, I felt like he was not doing his "manly responsibilites" of being the provider. This has only led to bigger agruments as to why does he have to support my children, when he did not create them. I have set it aside in hopes that with time this would change, three weeks ago in another agument I told him I was only going to contribute to paying the food and household items, he said if I did we would sell where we live and move to the home where his children were raised. The first of the month came and I reminded him that I was only going to pay for the food and household items. This would be approximitly $570 less than what I normally pay. He threatened with a divorce. Yesterday he told me that he has an appointment for Tuesday to file. Throughout our relationship he has threatened with legal seperation & divorce I am geting tired of it, but I don't want my children or his children to have to deal with another divorce. To be fair to my husband I must add, in the past 2.5 years (1yr 2 months dating, 1 year 4 months married) he has treated me to an expensive honey moon, took me on a trip to Mexico, purchased me a bed room set as a wedding gift, Last Christmas he purchased me a car (Financed it for 8 years he is only paying 1-2 years, I will have to pay for the next 6-7 years), he has also given me other gifts and has paid for our date nights or when we go out as a family. During the four months that we have had his children he increased his share to cover the additional cost of food and utilities. (he didn't think this was fair, because for the 10 months that his children didn't live there he didn't expect me to contribute more for my kids) I am greatful for the gifts however, I don't like for them to be dished out at me, and I don't think that that takes care of the "male role" as the provider in the home. To apease him again I placed the amount I usually do into our account for this month so he wouldn't move forward with the divorce, however I still feel this is unfair. I don't want to be advantages, but I also want the same respect that I would had been given If we started out together. I know he has expenses, but I also know that many of them are paid by his business, including his car, gas, tools, clothing. I don't want him to take all his money and hand it over to me, I don't get into what he has in savings, or how he spends it. But when I see him working a few days a week and I am at work 5 days for 7 hours, or can't treat myself to a new pair of shoes, or feel guilty if I buy myself something, while he purchases a convertable for recreation, I feel like it is unfair. Please shed some light on me., Am I wrong to feel this way.
