AmyKate88

I can totally relate to your feelings that the Church can seem sexist at times. I actually constantly struggle with this on a regular basis. It may be amplified because I live in Utah I am graduating in August with my Bachelor's degree in Political Science, and currently work in public relations. I have no intentions of being a stay at home mom my entire life - I plan on working part-time once my kids are in school. I have never been raised to be dependent on a man or feel like I was subservient to one. When I joined the Church, my mom was really worried that I would be marginalized because I was a woman. That has not been the case, but I still get weird comments from other church members and leaders. They often tease me about my accomplishments or my ambition to not just stay at home and make crafts and scrapbooks, and say I should just let my husband do all the work and lead the family. This doesn't sit well with me at all! Luckily my boyfriend is also really egalitarian about gender roles, or we might have a problem on our hands! Sometimes it's hard to brush it off, but I try to remember that the Gospel is not sexist. God created us all equally and there is nothing in the Book of Mormon that places women as second-class citizens. The reality is that the Church is comprised of human beings, who are imperfect. So even though the Gospel is perfect, the Church isn't. When people act close-minded or sexist in the Church, that's not God's intentions. Of course, once you have a family, they are your number one priority, but that doesn't mean that you can't find fulfillment in education and a job as well. God wants us to have full, rich lives here on Earth.

I live in Utah and there are temples everywhere (haha). You can go do baptisms without an appointment at most of them. So that is what I do - I go do baptisms whenever I have some spare time - usually twice a month now.

Yeah, I mean they are definitely cheaper than conventional underwear, but still, they are required in order to be in good standing with the church if you are endowed, so I guess I don't understand why they wouldn't then be tithing subsidized. Another point is that while men can (probably) go with just garment tops and bottoms as underwear, women still need to wear bras and possibly regular underwear if they wanted. So thus the garments would be an extra piece, not a replacement for underwear. I'm sure it's not a financial strain on my boyfriend (I hope not!), but I think it makes more sense for them to be subsidized through tithing.

So, I was talking to my boyfriend a couple days ago, and he mentioned that he experienced some sticker shock when he went to buy garments the other day. He added that he doesn't get why garments aren't tithing subsidized, since so many other things are within the church. I think he has a good point, so I started thinking about it to. If BYU is tithing subsidized, which few members proportional to the total amount get to attend, then why aren't garments, which are doctrinally-speaking mandatory for endowed members, also subsidized? note: I'm not trying to be contentious about this, I just think it is an interesting thing to think about.

Well, considering I am 21 (22 in a month) and am in good standing with the Church, but have not served a mission (and am not planning on it) and am also not engaged, and was denied a temple recommend because I was not "over 24" and also "not engaged", I would highly suspect that a young man in a similar situation would also be denied for the same reasons. If not, I would be highly irritated, to put it lightly.

I think it should fall into the category of "last resort" job. I would rather freeze my butt off collecting carts from the parking lot of Costco than serve people an addictive, destructive substance that can very well ruin their lives.

Well... A lot of my friends went to Alta and Riverton HS, and they liked it quite a bit. I didn't go to high school in Utah so I can't offer any direct experience, but those are my recommendations based on my friends. What made you decide to come to Utah for high school?

As many others have said, I don't think there is a hard and fast rule about how much time has to pass for a person to be baptized. The requirements are that you understand the fundamental doctrines of the church, commit to obey the commandments, have a testimony, and pass the interview by a missionary (or other authority I assume). For me, three weeks was the time from my first Sunday in church to baptism. For my brother, it took him a year and a half. Everyone is different, but you do have to at least go through some preliminary "training" (discussions) before you can be baptized.

The initiatory is an integral part of the endowment itself, and so when you do it as a proxy for someone else, they still have to receive all parts of the endowment, just like as if they were receiving it on earth. They obviously can't wear garments, but the ceremony itself is a part of the whole :)

Thanks for all your advice guys, I really appreciate it. I went to the temple yesterday and wanted to share the experience I had. I go every Thursday night to do baptisms, with either family names or just temple names, depending on what I have on hand. I'm such a dork, I keep a paper of family names in my purse to print just in case I end up going to the temple. :) Anyway, I went with my boyfriend, and when he went back into the office where you print family names, I couldn't go with him because it's behind the recommend desk, so I had to wait in the lobby. I was feeling really rejected by the Church at that point, because I was watching all the other people go past the desk to do sessions, and I couldn't even go 10 yards to print off my own family names. Needless to say I was feeling pretty heartbroken. We went down to the baptistry and when we were sitting in the prayer room, I was talking to the woman who gives you the little intro. When I told her I come every week she was overjoyed and said it was amazing to see a young adult who is so dedicated to doing temple work. After we prayed, she said she felt inspired to say something to me. She said she had been reading about the Nauvoo temple, and that during that short window of time with the temple, the Saints did as many baptisms as they could, and when they left, it was another 30 years before they could do them again, and when they did get that chance again they were overjoyed to be able to do just baptisms again. She said that a lot of people downplay baptisms in favor of the endowment ceremony, but that baptisms are an integral part of the temple. I was so happy to hear that, I know that was a direct message from Heavenly Father reassuring me that my spiritual worth isn't diminished because I can't do endowments. That message really helped me put the whole thing into perspective and reminded me of my Father's love at a time when I was honestly feeling pretty alone and rejected by the Church. This just made me realize that I am not rejected by God, and that I can still play an important role doing baptisms. Hard lesson to swallow, but that message was exactly what I needed :)

OK, here's the update: My bishop called me and said that he had talked to our stake president about it. The stake prez said that he would not permit me to receive my endowment because I was under the age of 24 and was not engaged. He said that he "expects" me to be married by the time I'm 24 anyway, so I shouldn't worry about it. Needless to say, I am less than satisfied with this answer. I respect him as the stake president but I need a better reason than simply because I don't have a ring on my finger. I venture to say that I am more spiritually mature than many 19 year old girls I know who have been married in the temple. *sigh* Anyway, I am going to make an appointment with the stake president so I can hear and hopefully understand his reasons better.

Hey..... We're not all bad! I never tailgate people!

1) Utah drivers that never signal before they merge!! 2) Patronizing people 3) Texting incessantly; like when you're with a friend and they insist on texting someone else constantly, seriously, if you'd rather talk to them you can leave! 4) Flaky people 5) People that don't take notes or pay attention in class and then complain about not doing well on the test. 6) Or those same people who then expect you to help them study. AH. 7) People that eat out constantly and shop like crazy and then complain that they don't have any money left. Wonder why.... 8) Utah Mormons who will condemn Starbucks drinkers but then finish off 34 oz of Mountain Dew or some other poisonous energy drink.

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your input and advice. Just to clarify, I am not wanting to bring up the future (dum dum dum...) with BF because of external pressure. It is something I have been thinking about a lot, and want to talk about just so I know where he is coming from, because as of now, I have no idea what he is thinking about whether we have a future or not. Do you think I should wait a month or two more just to give it more time? Also, with the parents, I understand where they are coming from... They want the best for me and don't want me to sell myself short when it comes to future partner(s). I will admit that BF's lack of motivation bothers me, but I guess talking about his goals and plans would come up in any discussion of our possible future as well.

Hey guys! So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now, and we have been friends for about 2 years. Our relationship has been great, and I can't imagine life without him. I've been getting a lot of comments & questions from other people (church leaders included) about whether we are planning on a future together, and that same questions has been lingering in my mind too. I really want to talk to him about it, but I am super nervous/afraid of his reaction. It doesn't help that my parents (both non-LDS) don't want me to marry him; they want me to go to law school and marry some super ambitious rich guy. Boyfriend has his sights set lower (he is getting his Associate's in Business and wants to get his bachelor's later), but I don't see anything wrong with that. Basically, I am asking for advice on how to start talking about the future with him, because I am totally at a loss!