abeChristianson

I did feel prompted to express my frustration here on this site. I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have…. I just need some outside help to see the answer.

Hello everyone it is I. The last time I posted anything I was engaged and the woman I was supposed to marry was pregnant. I have really screwed up now though. She asked me about what I thought about speaking in tongues (as she is Pentecostal), and I said that it sounded like gibberish. This was when we first started dating. I expressed that I believe in speaking in tongues, however only if it is truly able to be interrupted by the people. She then dropped the issue. Well around the end of October as I was moving all of my stuff out of my apartment to move in with her and her parents she asked me if I thought we were moving too fast. I said that I did feel like we may have been moving too fast, but that what is done is done and we should move ahead with our plan. She then brought up the comment I made when we started dating regarding the speaking in tongues. She asked me why I felt like it was gibberish. I stated that I thought it sounded more satanic from what I heard. I expressed that I didn’t know how speaking in tongues worked for her and that I was willing to learn. She said that I called her satanic and her religion was satanic. I said that wasn’t the case but she continued to insist that was what I said and said that I was in a cult. I decided that I needed to leave because I had offended her and her mother. She said that it was a good idea so I left along with a small amount of belonging. I stated that I would have to come back for the rest of my stuff when things settled down. I asked if I would be allowed to go to the initial prenatal appointment so that I could give my side of the family’s history. She told me not to go to the appointment because she didn’t want to see me anymore. So I lost my apartment and I am back living with my mother and little brother living on their couch. So now her father called me and told me to “grow a pair and man up by apologizing (which I have done many times) and say that I was wrong (which I have, however I don’t believe I am wrong). The problem I have is the last time that I tried to contact her she told me to never contact her again. How am I supposed to apologize to her if she will not let me contact her? I also don’t know what to say if I write a letter. I have prayed and asked for guidance but I don’t know if I can tell what I am supposed to say. I started a letter but it just didn’t feel right. I feel horrible that I made her so angry with me, but I just expressed how I felt using my past experience (which I explained to her, her mother, and her father when I talked to him. He still believes that I said that they are satanic though. I just want to know what to do……

How do you explain why we cannot just let anyone in the temple?

I don't know what to do. I have had one of her "friends", who claims to be a member, tell me that I should be excommunicated or something. I am willing to accept what I have done. I know that I will never go to the temple or get to the celestial kingdom. I have accepted that. I hurt. I am tired of hurting all of the time. I've been told that I am selfish. Maybe I am. I don't know anymore and I don't find life really worth it anymore. I just wish that I could just die. I wish that I would have never been born..... I wouldn't hurt those around me. I don't want anyone to help, I just want to vent so I don't do anything, but the feelings are there..... I know that there are others that are worse off then I am...... and I am sorry for upsetting anyone.,...

She has blocked me on Facebook and isn't really responding to my texts.... her family thinks I'm in a cult that I've been brainwashed or something. I got so upset that I left. So this is all my fault.

I have decided that i will just give up on everything and stop caring anymore.... Thank you for all of your support.....

Most of it started because of Speaking in Tongues.... I said that in my past experience it was satanic in nature and it felt very wrong. I said that it was gibberish since no one could interpret it. They said that their pastor spoke in tongues and said “I know someone out there hear that in English” That isn’t how it works. I reread 1 Corinthians 14 and it doesn’t say that at all….. I don’t know what to do now that I have seriously offended her and her family. Also I guess that Mormonism is a cult in their church too….. If it wasn't for my job I would just.... Well I've said too much I am sorry for worring everyone and if I offended anyone I'm sorry..... I'll just stop now with my pitty party.....

I guess I don't listen or change fast enough. That is one of the many things we argued about....

She and I decided today that our choice of religions are enough to split up. I guess it is for the best.... Since I am in a cult and all.....

I have been getting stressed, and when I get stressed I get depressed. I have been considering ending my life. A lot of it has to do with the emotional rollercoaster my fiancée is on right now and my screw-ups as a father/future spouse. I just cannot seem to get it right and I cannot figure things out. I feel as though I do not deserve to live. I know that is a lie but the feeling is so overwhelming sometimes that I cannot shake it off. I know that I shouldn’t just give up but I really want to. I feel as though everyone would be better off without me. I know this is selfish, but it is the way I am feeling right now. Sometimes I wonder why I screw up everyone’s life that I get involved with. I am just so tired and frustrated. I do not know what to do anymore. I feel as though I have let everyone in my life down. I am not seeking help just venting in a public square, so no response is really needed. Sorry for the rant………God bless and Peace be with all of you…….

The stigma of mental illness is still a bad one. I think the media reports of "crazies with guns" is making it worse and harder for people to want to seek help because they are afraid that they might possibly be classified as a "crazy person".

I'm rich.... I have two children that I love with all of my heart, I have a wonderful fiancee in my life who is carrying my unborn child. I have a roof over my head and a steady job to support myself. Am I in the most perfect of circumstances financially or temporally, no, but I am blessed. I also have the Gospel in my life. Even though I haven't gone to church in a long time now........

LOL I used to live near Lake Superior and lost some cars to the Cancer of Rust.

Your product isn't available in the U.S.

I think he is a Clone implaned with his memories and that is where he was supposed to go to recover (Grow up). One of the team said he doesn't know does he after he said that once....